Earthlings
Earthlings are most intriguing, it’s amusing what they do,
The following examples show my sentiments are true.
To begin: They’ll buy a ladder, and then stand on chairs and stools,
Or they’ll ask for a hot drink, and then wait until it cools.
See what I mean. However, there’s more to this scene.
They don’t watch where they’re going, they constantly slip or trip,
They linger in the bathroom, leave the lights on, let taps drip.
They pull such funny faces, make some funny gestures too,
And for reasons unknown, they scare folk by saying, “Boo!”
They’ll chat away to creatures who can’t understand a word,
Or they’ll natter to themselves, which seems even more absurd.
And I’ve even heard it said some will answer themselves back,
While others just stand around all day and yackety-yak.
They’re noisy when they slumber, they wriggle about in bed,
They’re often heard to mutter, yet, deny the things they’ve said.
They nod off when they’re reading, they poke fingers in their ears,
They pretend to be asleep, or cry crocodile tears.
They usually scratch their head,when they’re confused or thinking,
And there’s a need for caution when you see any winking.
They like to tease and tickle, they also play practical jokes too,
But when the tables are turned, oh dear, what a hullabaloo.
They eat till they feel too full, they fry themselves in sunshine,
Won’t wear raincoats when it’s wet, but wear gumboots when it’s fine.
They put holes in their body, they say they’re fat when they’re thin,
And even worse, put the jug in the fridge and try to plug the milk in.
Yes, they’re a strange lot, I must say, a very confusing race,
They do the oddest of things, at anytime, and anyplace.
I wonder what makes them tick, why it is they’re like they are,
It’s really got me puzzled, for it all seems quite bizarre.
By Lance Landall
Quote: Laughter lubricates the family.
Computers — Ahhhhh!
Seems like there’s a little man whose intentions aren’t that clear,
But who I’m very certain revels in being unfair.
He hides in my computer and constantly interferes,
Hence why it often crashes, and a warning sign appears.
I would catch him if I could, but he’s far too smart for me,
He’s computer literate — knows it back to front — you see.
His timing’s just appalling, his impishness knows no end,
He’s blocking certain emails, and some refusing to send.
Sometimes things will disappear, even never to return,
And as for those viruses — they’re the least of his concern.
It’s aggravating, exasperating — and it’s escalating,
And I fear that my patience is fast evaporating.
Seems he hides amongst the chips, playing with the CPU,
Making my computer freeze, or randomly go slow too.
I’m sure that my graphics card, motherboard and memory,
Are sadly falling victim to his roguish energy.
And I can just imagine that he is giggling with glee,
Beholding my expressions and disappearing dignity.
Yes, I can just imagine that he’s doubled up with mirth,
Every time that things go wrong, and I exclaim, “What on earth!”
By Lance Landall
