Earthlings
Earthlings are most intriguing — yes, it’s amusing what they do,
And the following examples show my sentiments are true.
To begin: They’ll buy a ladder, and then stand on chairs and stools,
Or they will ask for a hot drink, and then wait until it cools.
See what I mean? However, there is so much more to this scene.
They don’t watch where they’re going, thus they constantly slip or trip,
They linger in the bathroom, leave the lights on, or let taps drip.
They pull such funny faces, and make some funny gestures too,
And for reasons that are unknown, they scare folk by saying, “Boo!”
They will chat away to creatures who can’t understand a word,
Or they will natter to themselves, which seems even more absurd.
And I’ve even heard it said that some will answer themselves back,
While others simply stand around all day and yackety-yak.
They're noisy when they slumber, they wriggle about in their bed,
And they’re often heard to mutter, yet, deny the things they’ve said.
They nod off when they are reading, they poke fingers in their ears,
And they pretend to be asleep, or they cry crocodile tears.
They usually scratch their head when they’re confused or thinking,
And there is a need for caution when you see any winking.
They like to tease and tickle, and they play practical jokes too,
But when the tables are turned, oh dear, what a hullabaloo.
They eat until they feel too full, they fry themselves in sunshine,
They won’t wear raincoats when it’s wet, but wear gumboots when it’s fine.
They put holes in their body, they say that they’re fat when they’re thin,
And what's worse, put the jug in the fridge and try to plug the milk in.
Yes, they’re a strange lot, I must say, a very confusing race,
For they do the oddest of things, at anytime, and anyplace.
I wonder what makes them tick, why it is that they’re like they are?
Yes, it’s really got me puzzled, for it all seems quite bizarre.
By Lance Landall
Quote: Laughter lubricates the family.
Computers — Ahhhhh!
It seems like there’s a little man whose intentions are not that clear,
But who I am very certain revels in being most unfair.
He hides inside my computer and constantly interferes,
Which is why it often crashes, or a warning sign appears.
I would catch him if I could, but he is far too smart for me,
For he’s computer literate — knows it back to front — you see.
His timing’s just appalling, and his impishness knows no end,
Hence why he's blocking some emails, and some refusing to send.
Sometimes things will just disappear, even never to return,
And as for those viruses, they are the least of his concern.
It’s aggravating, exasperating — and it’s escalating,
And I fear that my patience is quickly evaporating.
It seems he hides amongst the chips, playing with the CPU,
Thereby making my computer freeze — randomly go slow too.
I’m sure that my graphics card, my motherboard and memory,
Are sadly falling victim to his cruel roguish energy.
Yes, I can just imagine that he's giggling away with glee,
Beholding my expressions and my disappearing dignity.
Yes, I can just imagine that he is doubled up with mirth,
Every time that something goes wrong, and I exclaim, “What on earth!”
By Lance Landall
