Monkey Business
What! We all came from monkeys? You’ve got to be kidding, right?
That’s just a hairy theory, and one that’s not very bright.
I’d suggest you change your mind before you’re convinced it’s true,
As even Darwin himself said that it was just a view.
It’s purely monkey business, a theory devoid of facts,
A very hairy theory, and one that common sense lacks.
No matter how hard he tried, Darwin couldn’t make it fit,
Not that it’s stopping others, who’re convinced that it’s a hit.
’Though I don’t think I’m handsome, I cannot accept the view
That I came from a monkey, one that into myself grew.
And nor can I accept, friend, they might be my next of kin,
For I think that’s an insult, ’though I’ll take that on the chin.
I’ve never seen a monkey even halfway getting there,
And I know that nothing close is ever likely to appear.
Nor that there’ll be another who will witness such a thing,
For one thing we are not, friend, is another primate’s offspring.
And please don’t try to tell me that we all got here by chance,
Via some sort of ‘big bang’ that saw life on earth advance.
That’s just another theory that some have spawned and nursed,
And I wouldn’t be surprised if we haven’t seen the worst.
When next you see a monkey, I’d take a look at its tail,
And remember that ‘evolution’ is likewise just a tale.
One also very hairy, and also out on a limb,
Yes, the musings of a man, a notion, a fanciful whim.
One that’s full of missing links evolutionists can’t find,
For they’ve embraced a theory that’s simply all in the mind.
It’s purely monkey business that’s completely up a tree,
Where monkeys have always been, and where they will always be.
It’s time folk left them to it, and displayed more commonsense,
By not repeating nonsense in evolution’s defense.
Monkeys may be a giggle when swinging from tree to tree,
But I don’t find it funny they say one turned into me.
Imagining it were true, that some monkey became me,
Would it have been a baboon, or a noisy chimpanzee?
What about a gorilla, or cheeky orangutang,
That somehow metamorphosed after the so-called ‘big bang’?
No, I wouldn’t believe it, friend, nor repeat what such folk say,
As all this monkey business is just leading folk astray.
It’s such a foolish theory, and it’s hiding the true facts,
For we’ve all been created, which unbiased research backs.
By Lance Landall
